Wednesday, July 26, 2006
I don't use cocaine but I know a lot of people who do. In general, they don't know I know. Either I am reliably informed or I can just tell. It is pretty obvious, after all. Somebody who has just taken a line tends to be sweaty, energetic, optimistic, full of themselves and incapable of allowing their conversational flow to be interrupted. They are, in short, total bores. The problem is that cocaine enhances self-esteem and there are few things more irritating than excessive self-esteem. Cocaine users don't know this precisely because their self-esteem is so elevated. Also, when they are together, they can all agree on how wonderful they are and are, as a result, unaware of the waves of derision and boredom emanating from the surrounding non-users. I suggest, therefore, the establishment of cocaine communities in which users can live together happily - organising ads, interest rate swaps, videos, photo-shoots or whatever - leaving us the rest of us free to wallow in our interestingly low self-esteem, cracking jokes that are actually funny and not surfing on a tide of Columbian corpses, the effluent of the industry that sustains their self-esteem.
Posted by Bryan Appleyard at 9:29 am