Sunday, February 25, 2007
With bald Britney now rumoured to be on suicide watch, the time has come for some out-of-the-box thinking about the poor girl's condition. Personally, I'm pretty sure we could get her over this hump by putting her in an earthquake simulator. Sitting in a small, prefabricated house on top of a 'shake table' has been found to reduce the symptoms of post-traumatic stress suffered by 'quake survivors. Psychologists know this method as 'progressive desensitisation'. If Britney were to sit in the simulator surrounded by people telling her she was very clever and talented and wonderful, then, after a few days, she would emerge immune to the blandishments of fame and, in addition, completely unafraid of earthquakes. Chuck a clown in there and any traces of coulrophobia would also be eliminated.
Posted by Bryan Appleyard at 7:09 am