Thursday, February 22, 2007

Harry Saves Iraq

Prince Harry is going to Iraq! But, hang on, aren't we supposed to be pulling out? Ah yes, but Blair is looking for a legacy and here it is. We bring the boys home leaving just Harry to patrol the mean streets of Basra. The prince says goodbye to his clubbing boyhood and becomes a man. In an explosive final shootout, he takes on both Sunni and Shia militias in defence of an orphanage. His dying words are, 'Tell mummy I did my best.' Hearing this, the militias fall into each other's arms, vowing never to fight again. 'He was, in a very real sense,' says Blair, 'the people's prince.' As Elton John sings Candle in the Wind, rewritten again, another river of tears floods Westminster Abbey. A dull thumping is heard. It is Gordon Brown banging his head against the door.

7 comments:

  1. Very funny. You do the 'what if' scenarios very well, Bryan. Here's another one: what if Bryan didn't take the money? Hint: think of your soul. Will it make you happy (think of Aristotle)?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm on my way down to Ladbrokes seeing what odds I'll get on this prophecy. How long do you think I should say Candle in the Wind'll make no. 1?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Susan B. in Aristocrat-free PhillyFebruary 22, 2007 2:57 pm

    What a prophecy -- and just what I was thinking (though nowhere near as eloquently or wittily) when I read the news yesterday that the boy was going. If he were the elder son, I doubt if he'd be permitted, however.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I say full marks to Harry. Being the younger brother of the heir is a thankless role. At least he's doing something other than getting high in Cotswolds pubs.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Please, do not forget, he is doing it all to get closer to his girlfriend - will be half way to South Africa like this!

    Bryan, you missed this love angle in your scenario. Remember, sex sells.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What uniform will he be wearing? Will it have room for that Swastika armband?

    Or is that below the belt?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Gawd you're cynical, but spot on. Very witty. Go to the top of the class!

    Sorry, yer know what I mean 'arry?

    ReplyDelete