Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Hot News from Jeff and Amanda

A momentous post from 'Lord' Jeff reveals that all manuscripts of his new book The Gospel According to Judas have been shredded, the better, I assume, to maintain security for what promises to be the biggest book launch since Moses came down from Mount Sinai or since Jeff himself published his Special Theory of Relativity. In fact, I was called the other day by somebody involved in this publication. I had smirked when Jeff's name came up at a dinner party and he seemed to suspect I might have got hold of a copy. Jeff is fully aware of the profound eschatologial significance of this great moment - 'Among the other things that came up in the Judas team meeting, was the possibility of a launch either at Westminster Abbey or the Cathedral... The main launch itself will be on March 19th in Rome...' Good grief! Bliss is it in this dawn to be alive. Meanwhile, Amanda seems to have had a sense of humour failure over a tee-shirt. We really must find a way to bring these two together.

21 comments:

  1. I think they should launch it at Cape Canaveral.

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  2. Well, in her favour it showed she has huge estimation for her readers' intelligence that she took it upon herself to educate them. I think you are being rather derelict in your duty in this raising from the gutter of your audience, Bryan. How about something like:

    I just want to remind you that having beating the shit out of defenceless old women too frail to resist is against the law and you can be found guilty of assault if you do it.

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  3. I put the following comment on Amanda's post:
    'My gay friends often say that a straight is only a couple of pints away from a gay. Nobody seems to take offence at that. Funny old world.'
    Interesting to see any responses.

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  4. I responded under the name, Alan Hampstead. It told me it's awaiting moderation, so I'm not sure if it's visible yet.

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  5. I should have added, my respnse was is that a******* Bryan Appleyard calling me gay.

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  6. I've long thought that the internet is where sarcasm goes to die, but whoever posted that first anonymous comment on Jeff's blog has managed to prove me wrong.

    (In the style of Amanda:) Of the list of all the people whose controversial thoughts on the life of Jesus through the eyes of Judas I would like to read, Jeffrey Archer is not at the top of it.

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  7. I've been trying for weeks to get a comment on Lord Jeff's blog but with no luck. I think they keep spotting that they are cunningly disguised acrostics. Can anyone do any better?

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  8. OK, I see, my lost post went straight to your head Bryan! Some technology this.

    Bet the cynics and scientists will not believe it. But, we have the proof now that you are omnipotent.

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  9. I see Amanda corrected her spelling mistakes after early comments!

    So, Bryan what you really crave is 184+ responses like her? Don't, they are not worth it. This is a much better read.

    Give me quality over quantity any day.

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  10. Thanks, Rebel. No I don't want hundreds of comments, I just want a decent number of smart, funny, informative ones. My complaint about this was mystification at the rise in hits and the zero increase in comments. Comments are, to me, the whole point of blogging. I can't just go on doing this with no or little feedback, hence my post. Anyway, thanks for being so loyal.

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  11. Smart, funny, and informative? On a good day I might with a little luck be able to do one of those but I doubt that I could ever get two of them in the same comment let alone all three. But if it keeps you blogging I will struggle to do my best.

    As to Lord Jeff's manuscripts, sadly, not all the manuscripts were shredded although it would certainly be a good idea for this and all future tomes by his Lordship. Although if he had kept them he could have probably fed an entire continent with the earnings from selling them on eBay.

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  12. What do you know of these manuscripts, Tom?

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  13. One managed to make its way to the publisher apparently.

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  14. Not safe to have a sense of humour malfunction in the blogosphere.

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  15. One managed to make its way to the publisher apparently.

    How unfortunate for them. And for us.

    Interesting to see any responses.

    Yes, and they were 50/50, too: half predictable and half gutteral (as in "approaching, yet not quite in, the gutter").

    BTW, do you think that earlier comment on the other thread was really written by the good Amanda? I was tempted to write "gentle Amanda," but feared she might misread it as "gentile." As it is, "good" is a bit of a stretch.

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  16. I found the tshirt funny, but now there is such a moral crusade going on that it is hard, even as a woman, to say that.
    For waggling info, please check with me...

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  17. I couldn't believe that your story about the book launch at Westminster Abbey and/or the Vatican was anything but satire so I visited (for the first time) the Lord Jeff's blog and there it was, no tongue visible in cheek. How does this man manage to live his whole life completely devoid of self-awareness? And gets away with it? Maybe he could give classes in this skill for those of us ever-conscious of what bloody fools we're making of ourselves.
    Anyway, there's already been a book, or several, on the Judas Gospel so it's not exactly front page news.

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  18. Natalie, that's the wonderful thing about Jeff, not a trace of self deprecation/awareness/knowledge and no sense of humour. He's a joy to watch/

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  19. I couldn't resist... I posted a comment as J. Polk. Lord Jeffrey replied with his dry, clever wit.

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