Sunday, March 18, 2007
Britain being the only country in Europe that can actually do pop music - I know, I know, Abba, but that was some time ago - it is a wonder we do not win the Eurovision Song Contest every year. The reason, I now realise, is that, at some secret meeting, it was decided we would take the piss out of it. Hence the decision - the public phone-in was rigged, obviously, it's a TV trick of the trade - to choose Scooch as our entry this year. It must have taken some effort to find these unknowns in a nation teeming with world famous pop and rock acts. But the choice was inspired. Scooch's air steward routine brilliantly subverted the very idea of pop music by making it so embarrassing that only eurotrash could possibly find it entertaining. (Dictionary.com, incidentally, defines eurotrash as 'any rich socialite from Europe who lives or works in the US'. Is this right? I seem to run into a lot of them over here and not all are rich. I feel 'uncultured' is the more appropriate adjective.) Finland, of course, were on to this trick last year with Lordi, but they made the rookie mistake of winning. We, with our mastery of vote rigging, will already have ensured we come well below Norway. One mystery remains: did Terry Wogan deliberately announce the wrong winner?
Posted by Bryan Appleyard at 6:21 am