Sunday, March 18, 2007

Scooch, Abba and That Wogan Blunder

Britain being the only country in Europe that can actually do pop music - I know, I know, Abba, but that was some time ago - it is a wonder we do not win the Eurovision Song Contest every year. The reason, I now realise, is that, at some secret meeting, it was decided we would take the piss out of it. Hence the decision - the public phone-in was rigged, obviously, it's a TV trick of the trade - to choose Scooch as our entry this year. It must have taken some effort to find these unknowns in a nation teeming with world famous pop and rock acts. But the choice was inspired. Scooch's air steward routine brilliantly subverted the very idea of pop music by making it so embarrassing that only eurotrash could possibly find it entertaining. (Dictionary.com, incidentally, defines eurotrash as 'any rich socialite from Europe who lives or works in the US'. Is this right? I seem to run into a lot of them over here and not all are rich. I feel 'uncultured' is the more appropriate adjective.) Finland, of course, were on to this trick last year with Lordi, but they made the rookie mistake of winning. We, with our mastery of vote rigging, will already have ensured we come well below Norway. One mystery remains: did Terry Wogan deliberately announce the wrong winner?

8 comments:

  1. That Britain is the only country that can do pop music is true, and is also precisely the reason we can't afford to take Eurovision seriously.

    It's like when England played Australia in that football friendly a few years ago. It was vital to change the entire team at half time so that the loss to a bunch of Aussie Rules rejects didn't 'count'.

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  2. Forget Abba, this is pop music with an edge from those lovable Germans, Kraftwerk, the greatest pop band since The Beatles? Probably.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQQE4EC7LUI

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  3. And this The Robots from Kraftwerk from the late 70s, way ahead of any British or any other equivalent at the time
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4VBMSVDRdM

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  4. Scooch have clearly been watching that forgotten classic of British sitcom, The High Life (remember it? Alan Cumming and Forbes Masson as achingly camp airt stewards, etc. I last saw it ON A FLIGHT). The wings-out routine islifted straight from the superb High Life title sequence. I rather fear they'll win - and London will have to host Eurovision, if it can manage that. Which seems highly unlikely...
    N in Ken

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  5. Perhaps this is the beginning of the end for Wogan? Maybe like Ali he is danger of just going on a little too long.

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  6. Ah The Eurovision - anything with the word Euro in front is usually utter shite! What does make it hilarious is that most of Europe does take it seriously. If certain neighbouring countries don't vote for one another expect a small war. Nowadays its EasternEuroVision anyway. Unfortunately i can't see this show ever dying.

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  7. A diet of Eurovision is bound to make one punch drunk eventually.

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  8. Charlotte CordayMarch 19, 2007 2:51 pm

    If the UK wins, perhaps we can stage Eurovision in the Dome. The two seem made for each other.

    My son once bought at a car boot sale a tape entitled "The Best of Eurovision." It turned out to be a blank tape - this is an actual true story.

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