Sunday, April 15, 2007

William and Kate: You Read It Here First

The News of the World confirms my astounding insight that Prince Philip was the decisive figure in the break-up of William and Kate. The NoW doesn't have all the details - notably the blindfold and the the gun cocking - but they will emerge in due course. The paper does, however, report: 'The final death blow to Wills' relationship with his university sweetheart was delivered by grandfather Prince Philip. He declared: 'You can't string her along for ever.'' The quote leaves out the final word 'Blondy', Big Phil's pet name for Wills. Of some constitutional interest are the words of a senior courtier - 'Within the royal family the Queen acts as head of the country and Prince Philip is the head of the family...' Leaving aside the oddity of the statement itself - she acts as head of the country within the royal family (?) - one finds oneself breathing a sight of relief that they didn't ever think of swapping roles. With Philip and his celebrated diplomatic skills in charge, Britain would by now be an irradiated waste land.

4 comments:

  1. The whole royal love saga has been engineered by Alastair Campbell, as someone on Andrew Marr said this morning. If that's the case let the papers finish with Will & Kate as soon as possible so that we can go back to focusing on slightly more important issues.

    ReplyDelete
  2. River of deceitApril 15, 2007 8:32 pm

    Just get rid of them. Bunch of fucking morons.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so disappointed in you Bryan. Until I read this blog entry I had been spared ever hearing of this "Kate" person and I had successfully blocked out almost all knowledge ever absorbed about this "William" guy. The only memory I had left was that William was five years old and had a brother whose name I can't recall and a dead mother. As to the rumor that some day he may be king, since his grandmother is going to live forever this will mercifully remain just a rumor.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know, Tom, I'm sorry. There's a tabloid in me struggling to get out.

    ReplyDelete