Thursday, April 26, 2007

XXX Shreddies XXX

To return to more serious matters. Long term readers will know that I take breakfast cereals very - seriously - indeed. Judge, then, of my horror on discovering that Sainsbury's now have a section called Adult Cereals. Averting my gaze from the writhing flesh and the fetish gear, I moved on in search of Shreddies, only to find they had been relegated to a department known as Children's Cereals. Shreddies! For children! Has the world gone completely mad?

34 comments:

  1. No Sainsbury's, or an Ikea, to be found anywhere near me. But this sound a sneaky twisted convoluted way to get kids to eat porridge, by making out that its only for adults. Over 18's only, and all that. Congrats, by the way, on yesterdays post.

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  2. Thanks, Vince, and I am drawn to your porridge theory

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  3. cereal killer!

    is it some sort of retail apartheid or are the chavs afraid of rehabilitated paedophiles?

    Jamie says; make your own Shreddies kids by cutting out cardboard squares and painting them with marmite. go on, try summat diffrent.

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  4. I had exactly the same experience in Sainsburys last week. Temporarily allowed to buy the odd unhealthy thing- usually I am sent to put these back on the shelf, or the trolley is 'cleansed' at the tills by my very own warden- I spent ages looking for Shreddies amidst the massed meusli, and had to ask before being re-directed to Coco Pops and such. Like oysters and scallops I only like the idea of Shreddies, not the real thing, but the presence of that unopened pack, alongside the Mrs's Cold War sized store of tinned lentils and other pulses, is essential to my sense of well-being.

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  5. Breakfast cereals are consoling (it has rubbed off). A wonderful comfort-food. Although I don't indulge in the morning. A bowl of something (depends on my mood) while watching Newsnight is just the ticket. Rediscovered Cornflakes recently. Very good. My wife eats all those spoon-bending ones that are good for your insides. Not for me.

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  6. Cornflakes is for wankers. true (see John Harvey Kellogg)

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  7. I'll take your word for it, Ian.

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  8. you're all right, neil. they stopped using that as a marketing slogan in 1894.

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  9. Do they have a separate section for adolescent cereals? If not, why not?

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  10. I suppose they just couldn't be bothered, David.

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  11. Porridge Oats:

    Ingredients:
    Oat Flakes (100%)

    Warning:
    May contain traces of viagra and nuts (in more than one sense)

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  12. Arthur, as if i needed more evidence, you really are nuts. Stick to the children's section.

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  13. Not a problem for me. I prefer a hearty fry up each morning. The value of shreddies needs to be called into question.

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  14. I agree Fred. Personally I've never heard of a shreddie, but we don't have supermarkets here and i don't do breakfast.

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  15. Hmmm, I think there is a deep confusion underlying this distinction between Adult and Child Cereals. Why could sainsbury's have not left everything as it is?

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  16. You surprise me, Fred. That brekkie is nihilistic in the extreme. You're a hypocrite.

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  17. As I anticipated, we have sailed into deep waters here. Ludwig, you are right to ask why Sainsbury's should have made this radical and provocative move. Perhaps it was an attempt to confuse the private equity people wishing to buy the company as much as it has confused us.

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  18. I think you're onto something there Bryan. And while we're into the deep connections, I wonder where these strange new bags come into the equation.

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  19. The bags, of course, Georg. You don't think they have something to do with the imminent arrival of the Gaaargs, do you?

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  20. Of course, why didn't i connect? WE could have a serious situation here. They probably contain pods in the lining.

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  21. Neil, i am a bit of a nihilist, but i never made a secret of the fact that I follow the Atkin's diet.

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  22. Pods, why does it always have to be pods?

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  23. Exactly. You, too, Georg, are guilty of courting faulty assumptions. Bryan has put his finger on the fundamental problematic of all future alien ontology and we wait with baited breath for the innovations he has to offer.

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  24. The greatest breakfast cereal can be found in Aldi - benefit flakes.

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  25. Benefit Flakes! Sounds like a charitable project.

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  26. Related to sugar concentration, presumably?
    As I buy everything, food included, over the internet, it is only when I read posts like yours, Bryan, that I realise what I am missing by not participating in the "real world".

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  27. Shreddies? Are they what we call shredded wheat? (Or "frosted mini-wheats in the variety my kids like -- which is to say, covered in sugar.)

    I also don't get marmite. Bill Nighy (my favorite actor, as you should know) loves it. When I saw it in his dressing room and asked about it, he immediately said, "If you didn't grow up eating this, you will definitely not like it." Another English lady there said, "My mother used to serve it to us as a hot drink." American that I am, I said, "What, like tea? Did you put milk in it?" Bill N.: "Oh God no -- that would be awful. It's best eaten on toast."

    I still haven't tried the stuff, though it looks like nutella to me when I see the jars. Explain it to me, ye marmite-eating English folk.

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  28. Marmite is peculiarly British. It is yeast extract, scraped off the top of fermenting beer vessels. That is ale - lager is brewed differently, I believe.

    No, we have shredded wheat too. Shreddies is an unidentifiable substance used as a carrier for sucrose and malt flavourings.

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  29. Also beloved to Aussies as Vegemite. (see Dame Edna for gory details).
    Rich in vitamin B, I think you missed out in your otherwise admirably comprehensive definition, Ian.

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  30. Alas, in Oz we can not purchase Shreddies at all. I do think we should all be allowed one personal comfort food import item on receipt of Citizenship certificate...

    Low G.I, uninspiring Porridge/ culinary Polyfilla is available for all ages.

    Oh, how I long for just a bowlful of the censored cereal...

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  31. Saw this yesterday & thought of you lot!
    http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=143821&in_page_id=34

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