Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Father's Day looms; the sock shops are empty, the smell shelves have been stripped of Cool Water 'by' Davidoff, sales of Frank Lampard's Totally Frank are enjoying a modest surge and, amidst the torrents of snail mail sent to me by desperate PRs, I find a double CD from UCJ Music. 'Dad's Anthems' it is called. I have some trouble with the apostrophes - whose Dad are we supposed to be discussing here? Should it not be all Dads? - but I mustn't lose sight of the big picture.'Father's Day on June 17th,' chortles the press release, 'will not be complete without this collection of bold and classic music!' In a survey, apparently, the theme from The Great Escape - you know duh-duh...duh-duuuuh-duh-duh-du - has emerged as the number one Dad's Anthem 'across the company of experts'. (What? Never mind, big picture.) These platters that matter also include Star Wars, Dam Busters, Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mr Hitler?, Jerusalem, Nessun Dorma, Rule Britannia, the British National Anthem, Braveheart, Land of My Fathers etc etc. 'Whether they are tired from work,' gurgles the release, 'missed the football or just needed cheering up, this album is sure to bring a smile to any father's face.' The Dad in the imaginations of UCJ's 'company of experts' is insanely militaristic, prone to lachrymose sentimentality, outbursts of desperate patriotism, violent fantasy, brief episodes of religiosity and atavistic cravings. This sounds about right, though they seem to have missed out the morbid obessions of Dads like me. All they had to do was include The End, written by Nico and performed by The Doors, or possibly Leonard Cohen's Dress Rehearsal Rag - 'There's a funeral in the mirror/And it's stopping at your face.' - and my June 17th would have been complete.
Posted by Bryan Appleyard at 4:22 am