Friday, July 20, 2007
The revelation that the laid-back, hard-tokin' Labour front bench - motto 'keep on truckin' - is, in reality, just the latest incarnation of Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters means that an early election is certain. I even have this exclusive photo of the Home Secretary's Battle Bus - it's loosely modelled on Kesey's strangely named vehicle, Further.
Now I don't really do politics at this level but I think it's pretty clear that the only reason the ol' night trippers have suddenly come clean about their heroic consumption of controlled substances is, of course, to crush Cameron by embarrassing him on the drugs issue. In fact, crushing Cameron is the only reason Brown has done anything since he came to power. When I interviewed Cameron, he said of Brown's method of parliamentary debate, 'It is literally 'you are evil, you are dead, I will kill you. I will stamp you into the ground until my boot is banging up and down on your face.'' Even so, I think he underestimated the extent of the problem. Brown has been successfully stamping on his face for some weeks now and the Tories don't know what to do - not entirely surprising as, let's face it, this seems to be a pretty thick bunch. And that's not all the stamping he's been doing. He's also stamped on the face of the one threat to his power within his own party. Miliband the Elder, the foreign secretary, seemed to be entirely out of the loop on that 'we may cut loose from America' exercise in plausible deniability. The scale and the fury of this stamping - Brown has not actually done any running of the country - indicates an early election. The likely date seems to be in February and, unless the Tories can find an IQ pill before then, Brown will win and Old Labour will re-emerge to stamp on all our faces. But, as I say, I don't really do politics.
Posted by Bryan Appleyard at 4:54 am