Saturday, August 18, 2007

Nadine Baggott - the New Jeff?

Following my post yesterday, I was, today, going to emit a spoof column by 'Celebrity Beauty Editor' Nadine Baggott, the woman with curiously smooth and rigid cheeks who advertises Olay Regenerist. (In fact, independent assessors from the British Skin Foundation have confirmed that it is possible to bounce pound coins of all four of her cheeks at once.) However, having done a spot of research in the lady, I now feel a mere spoof would not do her justice. According to Wikipedia, Nadine was born in 1964 in Orpington - hmmm - and has two cats named Mister CrazyLegs and Polar Icecap - aaaargh! Nadine has done all sorts of stuff - she even has an IMDB page - but she shot to fame with her Olay ad. Careful analysis indicates a number of factors at work here. 1)The ad is so bad that it seems to have been deliberately designed to inspire a cult following among the hungover and the angry. It is, in fact, beyond parody as this vid seems to show. 2)It also inspired a great national ponder about what exactly a 'celebrity beauty editor' is and, among teenage girls with three As at A Level in sumz, speling and drawring, it inspired a longing to be a CBE. 3)It is brilliantly designed to reduce strong men to tears of rage. This is, I think, because of Nadine's absurd pretensions - the shots of her taking notes like a real journalist are particularly infuriating -  because, in spite of the best efforts of Olay and God knows who else, or her deep unattractiveness which makes a nonsense of all the beauty stuff and, finally, because of her curiously ugly name. Nadine rage has sprung up on this blog and elsewhere - see, for example, here and here. But the really big news is that Nadine has a blog. Like 'Lord' Archer's, this is a rare and precious glimpse into a mind unerringly fixed on all that matters least in life. Nadine is, in short, a great consolation.

10 comments:

  1. Excuse me, I think you'll find that's 'circa 1964' - a nice touch. And what the flip is this HorsesMouth vid on the YouTube page there? Is that serious? I thought maybe it was Brown officially launching that thing he does with his mouth. Apparently not...

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  2. "So fake breasts – beauty or the beast?" Nadine asks on her blog. I'm not fussy, I'll take both.

    According to that notorious ad, these regenerist skin creams cost more than 20 squids a pop. That's the equivalent of a good bottle of malt, two bottles of vodka, several bottles of wine, many bottles of lager, a couple of rocks of crack or a big whack of Es. I wonder whether they'll prove a hit on the big estates round here.

    It's a bit ungallant to say her name is "curiously ugly", imho. Names are just names. The rest is imputed.

    I hope your spam capcha works OK. The less adept ones are easily circumvented, apparently.

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  3. Another illusion shattered. I thought she was a made-up 'character', like the bloke who advertises Cillit-Bang.

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  5. Perhaps you could have a competition to make an anagram of Nadine Baggott, if it isn't one already. Going here, typing nadinebaggott under unscramble, ticking all possible and extended, gives one a flying start.

    There's a picture of a cat there as well.

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  6. susan b., de phillyAugust 18, 2007 10:01 pm

    I never heard of the woman before you mentioned her, Bryan, but I went to her website and she looks like a rather attractive, affable blonde. why do you dislike her so?

    the only statement that gives me pause is her birthdate. I was born in 1960 and I think I look younger than she does -- and without the benefit of oil of olay!

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  7. by the powers of technorati, I find you are top of the list of blogs who link to Nadine Bloggitt's Blag.

    my beauty tip to you is to make sure your professional indemnity and health premiums are up to date....

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  8. So, how does all of that make her the new me?

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  9. I think what really gets me is that she is so impressed with those pentapeppermints - and I bet she doesn't even know what they areally are - how they are made or how they work -

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