Saturday, August 18, 2007
Following my post yesterday, I was, today, going to emit a spoof column by 'Celebrity Beauty Editor' Nadine Baggott, the woman with curiously smooth and rigid cheeks who advertises Olay Regenerist. (In fact, independent assessors from the British Skin Foundation have confirmed that it is possible to bounce pound coins of all four of her cheeks at once.) However, having done a spot of research in the lady, I now feel a mere spoof would not do her justice. According to Wikipedia, Nadine was born in 1964 in Orpington - hmmm - and has two cats named Mister CrazyLegs and Polar Icecap - aaaargh! Nadine has done all sorts of stuff - she even has an IMDB page - but she shot to fame with her Olay ad. Careful analysis indicates a number of factors at work here. 1)The ad is so bad that it seems to have been deliberately designed to inspire a cult following among the hungover and the angry. It is, in fact, beyond parody as this vid seems to show. 2)It also inspired a great national ponder about what exactly a 'celebrity beauty editor' is and, among teenage girls with three As at A Level in sumz, speling and drawring, it inspired a longing to be a CBE. 3)It is brilliantly designed to reduce strong men to tears of rage. This is, I think, because of Nadine's absurd pretensions - the shots of her taking notes like a real journalist are particularly infuriating - because, in spite of the best efforts of Olay and God knows who else, or her deep unattractiveness which makes a nonsense of all the beauty stuff and, finally, because of her curiously ugly name. Nadine rage has sprung up on this blog and elsewhere - see, for example, here and here. But the really big news is that Nadine has a blog. Like 'Lord' Archer's, this is a rare and precious glimpse into a mind unerringly fixed on all that matters least in life. Nadine is, in short, a great consolation.
Posted by Bryan Appleyard at 6:56 am