Saturday, August 11, 2007

On Shaving, the True Cause of the Crash

I have been meaning to blog on the subject of shaving for some time, but, somehow, I shied away, it just seemed too intimate. But this morning, attempting in vain to open an eight-pack pack of Gillette Fusion Power blades - you need scissors, big ones,  I cracked. I am a sucker for the latest shaving technology and, sadly, I don't feel Wilkinson Sword has been quite up to the cutting edge  - geddit? - work from Gillette. On the other hand, blades for the latest Fusion system are now so expensive they are fitted with special security tags in supermarkets. Buying one of these six-bladed monsters is a huge and ongoing financial commitment. If the American poor have been suckered into Fusions, they will have had to borrow from Cowboy Loans Inc just to keep themselves in blades. When the crunch comes, these ranks of Cletus Spucklers will be forced to default and bring the world financial system to its knees. This is nothing to do with homes, it's all about shaving. But, I have to say, the Fusion system is impressive. Though it's rather like mowing your face with a combined harvester, it certainly eliminates the old stubble - especially in the Power incarnation. I cannot imagine what Gillette will come up with next. Perhaps they'll consolidate as all the Cletuses are forced to grow beards. But I suspect, come the next upturn, I'll be buying the Gillette Terminator Power - a small chain-saw like object with teeth and gouging blades to hook the stubble out by the roots.

8 comments:

  1. Personally, I think any more than 3 blades is really straining the limits of reasonable value for money. But yes, if money was no object, I would try them all.

    Recently, my wife started making her own soap as a hobby, and I have made a batch or three as well out of curiosity. (It's sort of like cooking, but with the added excitement of handling a dangerous chemical.) These experiments have led me to making my own shaving soap, heavily scented with bay rum.

    I used to be a fan of the foaming gels, but I must admit I find using a brush to build up a lather with your own soap has proved oddly satisfying.

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  2. You are a man after my own heart, Steve. Making soap may appear to the uninformed to be a case of showing too much of your feminine side, but it is entirely redeemed as a guy thing by the dangerous chemicals. Have you tried those shaving oils?

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  3. Shaving oil is as near miraculous as any shaving product gets - shaving really close with no soap, no foam, no pain, no nonsense, and a bracing, faintly dangerous aroma. I bought some in France, brand name Williams (oddly), and it's the best I've ever used. Somersets is good too.

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  4. oils are supposed to be used in conjunction with soap. first the face is wetted, then a little oil, then lather soap with a badger hair brush. moisturize, never aftershave lotion.

    as beards are a sign of extreme behaviour - total lack of personal care or excessive narcissism - I won't ever grow one so I'm off for a course of laser treatment...

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  5. Bryan, you have made soap too? We should swap recipes. (Insert here diversionary fart, expectoration, or other appropriate overt display of masculinity.)

    Shaving oils have tempted me, but I haven't tried them yet.

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  6. if i didn't have to temp, i.e. be potentially-sackable without a reason, i'd only shave once a week. Stubble is manly and potent.

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  7. I won't buy into new shaving technology until the replacement blade cartridges are cheaply available in knock-off form at Sam's Club. I'm still on three blades, how many blades are they up to now?

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  8. I too have been suckered into the money pit that is the Gillette Fusion system.

    I was looking to see if you can get the blades cheap on the web (alas, no), and came across what is surely the least attractively-named cosmetics shop in the world.

    If you buy the missus her Christmas perfume there, for goodness sake don't tell her.

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