Monday, September 10, 2007

The Alien Abduction Caption

27 comments:

  1. Spot the One-legged Surfer Dude Competition.

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  2. Bryan Appleyard Celebrates The Opening of His New Hall Carpet.

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  3. Odour-Eaters - the original carbon footprints.

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  4. Right, well where did they leave the skirts and knickers?

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  5. Cobblers To Cobbling: After Interviewing The Last Celebrity On Earth, Bryan Had To Eke Out A Living Repairing Neighbours' Shoes.

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  6. ''...and I'm telling you I can still smell dog shit!''

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  7. Ah, the greatest closing line in TV comedy...

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  8. The Podophobics Self-Help Group meetings got off to a disasterous start...

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  9. Sandie Shaw Appreciation Society attempts to recruit younger generation.

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  10. This is because they're not called 'brothel creepers' any more.

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  11. Come VAT time, the Appleyard's wished they'd bought Bryan that calculator for his birthday.

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  12. (oops, errant apostrophe)

    Norfolk village roots out devil's spawn in annual toe count.

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  13. DCI Spencer, the Yard's expert on UFOs, reports '8 kids taken, 5 hiding under the bed, and 6 wearing crocs told to "bugger off"

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  14. Portugese detectives turn efforts to searching shoes after McCanns visit Nike factory to increase public awareness.

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  15. ''...as soon as Richard Reid gets here, we can begin the firework display.''

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  16. After hearing of Naipaul's gift of a hat, Salman Rushdie tries one better.

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  17. " Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Clarks "

    pp,
    Karen & Richard Carpenter.

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  18. 'Latest delivery to Ian Russell as Caption Society of Great Britain carries out urgent review of policy that awards one pair of shoes for every ten postings'

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  19. Ian, your skills continue unabated! Love the Rushdie/Naipaul one. Of course, you're scaring the mediocre caption writers -- like me -- off, but s'okay. It's fun to watch you at play.

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  20. 'The abandoned shoes arrive at Dr Scholl's, but he refuses to turn them into heelys.'

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  21. Undercover cop was Slipper of the Yard

    Aliens "absolutely legless" claim abductees

    National Society of Amnesiacs stumped: unable to return forgotten shoes as can't recall who its members are

    "We can't go on meeting like this - I feel such a heel"
    "I love it when you let your laces down and look all soulful"

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  22. surely not, Susan! I will give it a rest then. I only do it because I can't afford one of those brain gym gadgets that Nicole Kidman advertises - you know the ones? I think they're dangerous anyway.

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  23. Ian, Brain Training is a fine distraction; compelling and moreish - though, disappointingly, it does not rate caption-writing prowess.

    As an aside, I note that Nintendo's advertising campaign appears to be hitting its target.

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  24. Ian, don't stop! I think they're hilarious and your captions raise the game for the other contenders.

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  25. Health and Safety Executive warn of the dangers of stepping on cracks in the pavement.

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