Thursday, September 06, 2007
So Angelina Jolie has some exciting new tattoos. The one across her upper back reads 'Know Your Rights'. Brad, I hear, plans to have one in the same place reading 'Know Your Obligations'. Angelina is not my type, but, even if she were, the moment she had her first tattoo she would have sunk beneath my radar. I find tattoos hideous, indeed, vomitous, but, now, everybody seems to have them. If I were still, as they say, 'out there', my social life would be massively circumscribed.
'Oh you have a tattoo. I'll let myself out. Have a nice life and I hope it doesn't turn all hideous and blotchy when you get older. But nothing you can do about that is there? Still, chin up. Oh no, there's one there too. Taxi!'
David Beckham's tattoos make him look like a lunatic who should be carrying a sandwich board down Oxford Street and Amy Winehouse's like a visually illiterate child's transfer collection - though I acknowledge that is the least of her problems. But for me, to be honest, even the slightest hint of a tattoo turns the whole person into an untouchable. And then there's the growing old problem. Tattoos age worse than Britney Spears - and, yep, she's got them too - and start to look like a serious, infectious disease at some point in the thirties. So the ponder is: tattoos, why?
Posted by Bryan Appleyard at 7:37 am