Monday, October 08, 2007

The Brown 9000 Series

When Dave Bowman disconnects Hal in 2001, the computer suffers a slow mental breakdown. Just before he expires, he sings Daisy, Daisy. The dying Hal came to mind when I was watching Gordon Brown being interviewed by Andrew Marr. Large parts of his brain had clearly shut down and the bits that remained where just chanting familiar words taught his by his programmer - 'change', 'vision', 'Daisy, Daisy...'. This morning he is lying in a bath of coolant undergoing a hard reset in preparation for his press conference. But can the junta's cyberwonks stop him saying 'change'? It keeps raising the awkward question: change from what to what? Perhaps he intends to wallpaper the UK in a fetching pink stripe or set it on fire. Of course, he originally used the word to signal that he was not Tony Blair - remember him? But politicians in general use 'change' because they know most of the electorate is discontented most of the time. In this they are encouraged by those newspapers that, daily, tell us we are discontented. But there is a higher form of discontent, based on the certainty that 'change' changes nothing and that contentment is not bestowed by politicians. Their job is to stop things getting worse. It's hard and it's boring, but nobody made them go into politics. Meanwhile, I have an exclusive copy of the Brown statement at his press conference - 'Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do...'

12 comments:

  1. How long before we get a Labour commercial showing Gorgon wandering around Kirkcaldy with Otis Redding or Sam Cooke singing 'A Change is Gonna Come' as accompaniment.

    I was born by the river in a little tent
    Oh and just like the river I've been running ever since
    It's been a long, a long time coming
    But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will

    It's been too hard living but I'm afraid to die
    Cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky
    It's been a long, a long time coming
    But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will

    There been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
    But now I think I'm able to carry on
    It's been a long, a long time coming
    But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will

    ReplyDelete
  2. So as to win a fourth election victory, Felipe Gonzalez tried to 're-invent' his porcine self with the slogan 'the change of the change'. That's what's afoot here: the change of the change. Change. Change. System malfunction.....Great helmsman loses grip.

    ReplyDelete
  3. lol. there are many examples of songs he could sing, richard - I see us going back to the 70s (again) and Brown changing his name to Gordie Stardust and the Spiders from Manse. Ch-ch-ch-changes, turn and face the strain.

    (BTW, Did you see Arena this week on the tribute 70s bands? they were quite useless at pretending to be who they weren't but really quite good as themselves - but as themselves they couldn't even get arrested! I blame Simon Cowell...)

    Daisy, Daisy... on a bicycle made for two... it's always about bikes in the end, isn't it? It's an opportunity! As fast as Beijing are losing them, we ought to be buying them up! Genuine chinese antique stylee!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ian, I missed the 70s tribute bands. They really manage to come up with great names....

    Nearly Dan
    The Counterfeit Stones (theirs was ‘The Flyovers To Basildon’ tour)
    Sticky Fingers (Dick Swagger & Keith Riffoff are two of the members)
    AB/CD
    Who’s Who
    Whole Lotta Led

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I recently downloaded Kashmir by Led Zepagain.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AB/CD was on Arena, Richard! The same guy doing Angus Young also did Richie Blackmore in Purple Snake. Also featured was Stairway To Zeppelin who weren't too hot, and a brummie bloke in Are You Experienced (no question mark, apparently, but you'll never guess who he was tributing?) He was good despite being over-ambitious in his choice of subject. The bizarre thing was a kid wanted to buy the guitar he'd set fire to in the finale - it waqs the best gig he'd experienced and he desperately needed a souvenir! they agreed on £70. but the top prize goes to Wayne Ellis from Limehouse Lizzy - didn't look anything like Phil L. (more like the 80s band, Imagination - just an illusion?) but a pretty good sound.

    and T. Rextasy was a bit worrying.

    my favourite - not on featured on Arena though - a gay female tribute band, Les Zeppelin. True!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm going to form a tribute blog,

    Crab Appleyard - Test Think!

    featuring my special assistant, Nip.

    ReplyDelete
  9. My favourites:
    The Bootles
    Magic - A Kind Of Queen

    ReplyDelete
  10. I saw a poster for Lez Zeppelin when i was in Dublin in May - they're much cuter than the original. I wonder if they do Moby Dick?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Noby Dick, I imagine. my mate claims there's a geriatric tribute band called Stairlift to Heaven. but i think he's making it up.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Everybody needs some change.

    http://tinyurl.com/269nts

    ReplyDelete