Monday, October 08, 2007
I have just worked out what the rich of West London do with their children all week. Every evening after school, they take them to special screaming classes. Highly-paid specialists sharpen and intensify the screams until they reach just the pitch and timbre that will most distress all around them. Once a year there is a secret competition at which the children of bankers and antique dealers compete to produce the most annoying noise in the world. On Sundays, the rich get out their giant buggies and take their children to cafes and restaurants. There they watch proudly as their expensively-trained tots reduce all the other customers to nervous, anguished wrecks, driving them back to their homes, bought with sub-prime loans from the bankers with the screaming brats. How they must laugh.
Posted by Bryan Appleyard at 6:23 am