Sunday, December 09, 2007

Rizla Shock

Am I alone in being startled by the full page ad on the back of The Observer Music Monthly for Rizla, cigarette papers for the discerning? The slogan is 'Rizla. It's what you make of it.' Joints, that's what you make of it, funny fags. I remember the time when no freak left his pad without his shopping list of Rizla green - or red, according to taste - 20 Silk Cut and a couple of pounds of Cadbury's Dairy Milk  - or Fruit and Nut, according to taste. But I never expected Rizla to go legit in this alarming way.

9 comments:

  1. Remember Job papers? The big ones in the art nouveau packaging. Aah memories...

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  2. Of course it would be on the back of the Oberver wouldn't it?

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  3. Oddly - Jobly _ i saw some Jobs in a newsagent just before I saw the Observer ad. There is a deep pattern beneath the surface of things...

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  4. I thought a Rizla was a type of dog.

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  5. I thought it was a self-help manual for lonely men who regret posting their good wife Judy to men who look like feather dusters.

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  6. Talking of Judy, she's fine - and much gladdened by this news:

    WORLD PIE EATING CHAMPIONSHIPS 2007
    HARRY'S BAR, WIGAN
    PRESS RELEASE

    December 10, 2007.

    VEGGIE AXE, GRAVY U-TURN AND BARBED WIRE REPRISE AT PIE-NOON SHOWDOWN.

    Pie chiefs have decided that gravy will be re-introduced for December
    13th's World Pie Eating Championships 2007 Category A (meat) contest -
    while the vegetarian option (Category B) will be axed after just one
    year on the menu.

    Organisers will also provide a "Control Gravy" with a gravy consistency
    in accord with the 1994 regulation - known in the competition as The
    Hindley Green Index.

    "The World Pie Eating Championships are the pinnacle of the art, a
    showcase for the pie eating elite. The introduction of the veggie
    challenge in 2006 was a backward step for championship level pie eating,
    with such dilution of focus gravely threatening the credibility of the
    contest in the eyes of critics," said Tony Callaghan, owner of
    Championship venue Harry's Bar in Wigan.

    "We have also taken the controversial step of re-introducing gravy for
    the Category A (meat) contest. In competitive conditions gravy can take
    as much as one and a half seconds off the time it takes to consume a
    regulation pie.

    "The lubricative advantage of a top quality gravy served at optimum
    temperature accompanying a racing pie cannot be underestimated. We will
    be following the guidelines laid down by The Hindley Green Index, the
    recognised standard for measurement of gravy slump in championship pie
    eating circles.

    "This is the measurement of the spread of gravy across a dinner plate
    when poured from a gravy boat held precisely four inches above the
    plate.

    "To prevent contestants drinking from the gravy boats, they will, as in
    1995, 1996 and 1997, be edged with barbed wire," said Tony Callaghan.

    The contest, now in its 15th year at Harry's Bar, Wallgate, Wigan, takes
    place at Pie Noon on Thursday, December 13, 2007.

    Crust-off for competitors in the Category A (meat pies) contest will be
    in the main bar area of Harry's Bar, Wallgate, Wigan.

    As in 2006 this year's event will be a one-pie sprint as opposed to a
    quantity contest, but experts are saying the reintroduction of gravy
    could see a record time set this year.

    The pies have to be produced to strict guidelines. The cooked dimensions
    need to ensure a diameter of 12cm and a depth of 3.5cm, and a pie wall
    angle from base to top of between zero and 15 degrees. This year's
    Official Pie supplier is Wigan Pies of Wigan.

    Ends

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  7. What's the chocolate for? I don't get it. Or out much. Thanks Nige for more on pies....

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