Saturday, May 24, 2008
A few interjections aside, I have been away from this blog for seven weeks in America. I could have blogged but I didn't and, now back in London, I am finding it almost impossible to blog on. This appears to be because I don't know what to blog about, and, more to the point, I don't know what I was blogging about. Well, obviously, I was just posting chance thoughts and observations. There is a sentimental and romantic view that such improvisations are, somehow, more true to oneself than more considered creations. But, in truth, in blogging, as in painting or poetry, improvisation is seldom what it seems. It is more a product of the environment than the self (I know that thought needs unpacking, but I think I can leave that to you). In blogging the environment is a combination of the information to be derived from stats and from commenters. I could, over time, tell myself I was getting better at blogging, but, in fact, I was simply adapting to this environment, usually unconsciously. 'Better at blogging' meant, therefore, creating a self to meet the selves that I met online. Looking back beyond the US hiatus, this blog self looks entirely alien. (This could be because of the intense seriousness and, yes, genius of some of the people I encountered in the States and, indeed, British life, especially political life, looks extremely grey and shrunken to me now. There's something wrong with us, but I am not in a mood to blog about that.) Worse, that blog self looks rather unpleasant if not completely stupid. I am, therefore, uncertain how to proceed, though I do know that I don't want to be unpleasant and stupid. And that, for the moment, is all I have to say about that.
Posted by Bryan Appleyard at 8:07 am