Friday, June 06, 2008

Meet the Normals

Norfolk, my adopted county, has something of a reputation for inbreeding - whether deserved not not I don't know. It is said that local doctors, when confronted with a backward, odd or 'special' child would write NFN on the notes. It means 'Normal for Norfolk'.  This has always been a very incorrect story we tell to visitors and, at weak moments, we describe drivers weaving about the road in sky blue Vauxhall Vivas as 'normals'. Judge, then, of my amazement to discover the name of a new shop that has opened in Wells-next-the-Sea - Normal for Norfolk. I intend to buy something there at the earliest opportunity.

7 comments:

  1. a banjo and a hat for a small head.

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  2. Doctors use these silly acronyms all the time. My dear old father was a GP back in the glory days when all you had to do to see a Dr was to ask. Sometimes there were appointments aplenty, too many in fact, and patients would be given a choice. My pa preferred the early risers, and if any of them refused a morning appointment the receptionist would mark their card "Doctor's Early Appointment Declined" - or DEAD for short. Some patients cut up rough, "Am I really dead, Doctor?", they would bleat, on catching sight of the word. "Not at all, Mrs Brown!", my dear old father would respond, "plenty of life in you yet. Please deposit your fag-end in the sand bucket as you leave". Happy days indeed. Best wishes, Mrs Pouncer

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  3. As a simple Geordie, moving to Staplehurst in Kent in the early sixties was akin to living in Eritrea, I would probably have understood the Eritrean language better (and that from a Geordie.)
    The car went sick, I asked a local "who was best car mechanic", "you wanna see Arkin, Arkin !, spent a long time with the phonebook, no luck. Next day, "Jack, this Arkin, not in the book". "No, not Arkin!, Arkin..Arkin ! Sometime later the penny dropped and I telephoned Mr Hawkins.

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  4. I wonder what they sell. Capacious jugs for watering live TVs, perhaps, teaspoons for chewing and then swallowing, birthing kits for those who prefer to labour in the woods, and sexy underwear for goats - all favourite pastimes of the large and unruly "NFN" family in the village where I grew up. It wasn't in Norfolk but then I'd guess almost every village had a family like it. Perhaps villages still do.

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  5. ...what to buy at Normal-for-Norfolk will be largely dependent on personal wealth and your sense of enterprise.

    But imagine the money you can make. Say you go to the shop and buy a sky blue Vauxhall Vivas at the official rate – that will cost you £ 500. Then you sell that Viva on the streets of Norfolk, and get £ 5000. With that £ 5000, at the official rate you can go back to the shop and buy 10 more sky-blue Vauxhall Vivas, all for your initial outlay of about 500 NFNs...

    ...erm......what do you think...?

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  6. Off topic, sorry, but in reply to what Mrs. Pouncer said, my old GP, (long dead, unfortunately), a Dr. Wm.Bennie, reputedly once asked a patient if he smoked; the patient became a little alarmed and asked if there was something he should know, only to be told that he, the Doctor, had forgotten his fags and wanted to cadge a ciggy.

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  7. I have to say, as a regular visitor to Wells, I've fallen in love with this shop.... it sells all kinds of jewellery, bags, etc - heaven! Well worth a visit!

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