Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I have decided to regard the impending split of Madonna and Guy Ritchie and the ending of the WAG circus that was the worst football team in the world as favourable auguries. Yes, you read it here first, a better world is on the way. Of course, neither of these events can be said to be caused by the financial meltdown, but there is such a thing a synchronicity and, anyway, causation is a only convenient illusion. Both the Madonna-Ritchie union and the inane shenanigans and haircuts of the England team before the arrival of Fabulous Cappuccino were aspects of the empty and, as we now know, lethal world of easy credit. The fatuous unreality they represented was the correlative of the absurdity of believing a credit card was not real money. This kind of celebrity was - I hope - a product of the same stupidity that produced the long con of securitised bad debt. Nassim - see this fine article by The Fink - has written of 'cash borrowed from destiny'. The celebs borrowed fame from destiny and - please, please - it's payback time. The virtues of the new world will be seriousness, hard work and great wit. People will say interesting things that will be reported by well-read and sensitive journalists. Horrible magazines will be closed by the thousand. Marketing budgets will be slashed. Wayne Rooney will be photographed reading G.L.S.Shackle. Nassim will win the Nobel and give it back. Newspapers and television will race upmarket. The Wire will be an A Level subject. Tabloid newpapers will offer their readers the works of Dickens. The children of Holland Park School will not shout outside my window because they are too busy reading Edward Thomas. Shops assistants will greet customers warmly and then help them to buy stuff. Banks will be boring and engineers interesting. Newsnight will introduce a policy of listening to what people are saying. Jeffrey Archer will apologise for his prose and Horace Engdahl for his stupidity. God will find Dawkins. In summary: the lion shall lay down with the lamb and all shall be well, all manner of thing shall be well.
Posted by Bryan Appleyard at 6:00 am