Thursday, October 23, 2008

Stubble 2

And, on the subject of yesterday's invasion, the record number of hits on a single day on this blog is held by Nige with his thoughtful and erudite post on stubble. It was another Andrew Sullivan link. Stubble has been on my mind lately - not the best place for it - because I was recently in an office where every - and I do mean every - man had stubble. Furthermore, all the stubble seemed to be exactly the same length. This clone-effect began to give me a strange, Stepford Husbands feeling. But it also made me realise that I had no idea how men maintain stubble. (Is it just right the right length once every three days, meaning that those office workers had, somehow, synced themselves? If happening naturally, this would make stubble the male equivalent of women's periods. Or perhaps they had all agreed to shave on the same day - more likely but more disturbing.) Turning on the TV that very evening - here the coincidence draws us towards The Twilight Zone - the first thing I saw was an ad for this. So now I know. I am, like Nige, anti-stubble, though I suppose it is not quite so offensive on the young. On anybody over 30 it gives the clear impression of a night spent in the cells.

28 comments:

  1. Point of order, Chairman. Given the two places you blog from, a neat N or L in the corner would be a real help.
    Stubble being one of those words where the mind carries itself through a few ways. -Ploughmen homeward plodding or pillocks prancing playfully, sort of thing.- Only to screech to a halt, do a three point and a reread.
    However, to your main issue, it must be some sort of combine harvester. Certainly not a scythe, it might be a sickle. But I live in hope they use a hammer.

    Vincent

    ReplyDelete
  2. fup me! and I thought you came from a long line of engineers.
    yes, but the question is why? simply because they can, I suppose. daft.

    though, to my mind, not as daft as thin beard topiary - someone didn't get an iron filings face game when they were a boy!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The old children of the village of the damned syndrome again, indigenous cuckoo's
    Its the burdz with stubble that I find disconcerting, where does Gok find them?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Stubble says 'i am a killer', all the more risible in yuppy apple polishers. A good touch in Michael Mann's 2004 Collateral is having Tom Cruise's contract killer arrive at LAX in a fine suit, confident manner, everything comme il faut for a successful businessman - but with 3 days' stubble. Right there you think "uh oh, contract killer."

    ReplyDelete
  5. Shaving is a nuisance. If one can get away with a couple of day's growth, why not? There is nothing disreputable about facial hair (on a man). It can lend a rugged, manly quality to one's appearance which I'm told is not unattractive to women who have no facial hair of their own yet. Stubble is just a reminder that men used to need to keep their faces warm.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Stubble is fine if one can't shave for some reason or, in the young, as part of the mating game. But otherwise it goes with clean clothes and brushing one's teeth: signs of respect for oneself and others, putting one's best foot forward and getting out into the world. Of course, shaving is easier and more pleasurable if properly done with well-made kit and not cheap throw-away stuff. You can't rush a good shave. As for beards, shudder and pass on quickly.

    Imho, contract killers are more likely to be stubble-fanciers because they are more likely to be fashion victims. That's because they are estate-raised kids who get paid in big lump sums which they then blow on fripperies.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is clearly yet another consequence of the Credit Crunch.

    Cutting down on shaving to twice a week means you only have to spend approximately 75% of your salary on Gilette's 'system'.

    ReplyDelete
  8. i grew a beard once. People said i looked like 'a Spanish poisoner.'

    ReplyDelete
  9. I looked like a nice young rabbi. Very odd. It didn't last long...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Shaving's a pain in the arse...

    Every day?
    F Off!

    ReplyDelete
  11. My attempt at bringing mutton chops back into fashion has been sharply curtailed by a move into the hospitality industry.

    I just really hate how bald, smooth skin feels, I feel strange if my face is baby-smooth...quite unpleasant.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Just looked at a photie of me in Gannex mac and complete with mustache, aged 24, mental age 7.
    When Rock Hudson sported a tache, out came the razors.

    ReplyDelete
  13. i am 23 and i currently have stubble, simply because i can't be arsed shaving every day. not a fashion victim, no theory behind it. i just can't be arsed shaving. i suspect many people are in the same boat. so, with respect, get over it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anon, 23?, so young, so fragile.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think stubble is often the result of anxiety in the young that facial hair won't develop into a full beard. In my late 20s I threw caution to the wind and decided to risk it, and was delighted to sprout a thick, sailor's beard. Are men in their
    30s with stubble then still crippled with anxiety that they are not sufficiently hirsute to develop full beardage?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Stubble very sexy on youngish men. It is a mark of masculinity, and perhaps needed to now complement waxed chests. On older men, not so good. White stubble throws off the effect.

    The male fashion I hate is shaved heads. So many guys start to lose some hair and then they shave it all. I just really don't like that look at all and I wonder how many women do.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Very true susan. My stubble is such a turn-on i have to drench myself in raw sewage to keep the women at bay.

    ReplyDelete
  18. i wonder what Bryan would like with a shaved head, stubble, and a short-sleeved shirt and tie? And prison tats, let's not forget the importance of tattoos.

    i think he would look quite debonair.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Not to worry, all. The transhumanists are going to solve this too. At their last conference some in the audience pointed out that the thought of five hundred years of daily shaving was a bit of a downer, so the lab working on making us more compassionate has a special section devoted to eradicating stubble.

    Of course, as with dying, those who choose to continue shaving will be perfectly free to do so.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Shhh Peter, you'll wake the Americans.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Peter: "The transhumanists are going to solve this too... Of course, as with dying, those who choose to continue shaving will be perfectly free to do so."

    You are beginning to get it Peter, aren't you. But even better, we will upload our consciousness to matrioshka brains and computronium devices and live in virtual worlds where a beard can be grown or shaved with a mental click. And you are right, nobody will be forced to join - we will come visit you guys in meatspace every couple of centuries.

    ReplyDelete
  22. 'meatspace', ah, you're Manicheans then...soma sema, heard that before.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I guess I'm pretty clever in that I procured a beard trimmer, with little attachments so that I can have three days stubble any time I want! It works on electricity, which is handy.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I'm surprised it took so long for someone to point out that beard trimmers can be set to leave stubble. Way back in the '80s, a trimmer called "the Miami Device" hit the market, allowing every male capable of growing facial hair to look like Don Johnson's Sonny Crocket. Since this has once again become fashionable, it is only a matter of time before men resume wearing white Armani jackets with pastel T-shirts.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Lots of gay men love facial hair. Its a a sign of masculinity at any age (being over 30 is actually a plus in this case)

    If straight women think their men look creepy with facial hair once they hit 30 they are free to send those rejects on over to us. :-P

    But stubble is sort of fence sitting. Just give me a full on well-maintained beard. Salt and pepper makes it all the better.

    ReplyDelete
  26. At my gym, facial stubble/shaved chest guys are perhaps more common than the smooth face/stubbled chest ones, but shaved or buzzed chests are the norm. The demographic is late 20's early 30's suit, 3-series BMW, straight, former frat-boy, and on the make. No socialogical significance, just fashion.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I'm 25 and had no idea stubble could be seen so negatively. Facial hair is a natural part of our bodies. I see nothing wrong with beards or stubble or mustaches or goatees or a perfectly smooth face... it's up to every man to decide what they want to look like. I just think my face looks better with a little stubble, so I tend to be on a cycle of shaving, then letting it grow until it gets too long (and I know shaving it will be annoying if I wait another day). I'm also blond, though, so my blond stubble also doesn't look as beastly as other guys'. :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Stubble is fine if one can't shave for some reason or estetik, in the young, as part of the mating game. burun estetigi But otherwise it goes with clean clothes and brushing one's teeth gögüs büyütme: signs of respect for oneself and others, putting one's best foot forward and getting out into the world. Of course, shaving is easier and more pleasurable if properly done with well-made kit and not cheap throw-away stuff gögüs estetigi, gögüs küçültme. You can't rush a good shave vajina daraltma, lazer epilasyon. As for beards, shudder and pass on quickly. karin estetigi. Imho, contract killers are more likely to be stubble-fanciers because they are more likely to be fashion victims. estetik That's because they are estate-raised kids who get paid in big lump sums which they then blow on fripperies. karin ameliyati, saç ekimi

    ReplyDelete