posted by Brit
Good news everyone, University Challenge is back on BBC 2 tonight! (For the benefit of non-Britons, University Challenge is a long-running quiz show for horribly bright boffins).
The problem with University Challenge is that the questions are too difficult and the contestants answer them too quickly. This leads to a great deal of the I Knew That One Syndrome for the viewer (that's where you feel you 'know' the answer but you just can't retrieve it quickly enough from whichever remote cupboard of your brain it has been gathering dust to shout out before the spotty brat hits his buzzer), which is very frustrating.
However, help is at hand, for I have devised a brilliant University Challenge game for you to play at home, which will enormously enhance your enjoyment of the programme. You simply sit and watch the show as normal, shouting out whatever answers you see fit, and then you award yourself points as follows:
Rule 1: If you correctly answer a starter for 10 before or simultaneously with the buzzing contestant - 10 points
Rule 2: If you correctly answer a follow-up question before or simultaneously with the team captain - 5 points
Straightforward enough, yes. But here's where it gets interesting...
Rule 3: The Clever Clogs Rule.
If you correctly answer a starter or follow-up question and the contestant gets it wrong, you get double points - because this shows just how brilliant you really are.
Rule 4: The Decent Guess Law.
If you incorrectly answer a question but it is the same incorrect answer given by the contestant, you get 2 points - because at least you were in the ballpark.
Rule 5: The Eavesdropper's Gambit.
If you overhear the right answer during the murmurings as the team confers over a follow-up question, and yell it out before the captain finally decides, you merit 2 points.
Rule 6: The 'I Really Did Know That One' Concession.
If you honestly, really did know the answer but it never got past the tip of your tongue in time, you can have 1 point, why not. (Nb. this rule requires honesty and self-discipline.)
And finally, here's where the drinking comes in...
Rule 7: The Venezuela Variant.
If the answer is 'photosynthesis' (always a good guess for biology ones), 'Napoleon' (most history questions), 'red shift' (astronomy) or Venezuela, then you have to down a bottle of gin.
Good luck people, let me know how you get on...